“Femputer sentences them to death… by snu snu!”

From: Futurama

Genre: Cartoons, Television

Who said it?: Femputer

The story behind the quote: This quote comes from the sci-fi animted comedy, Futurama. The show has a 20th century male named Philip J. Fry accidentally put into suspended animation and reawakened in the future. He now works for an intergalactic delivery service and flies around the galaxy, getting into a whole mess of adventures along the way.

The quote comes from the 1st episode of the 3rd season, Amazon Women in the Mood. The trio of Fry, Zapp Brannigan and Kif are imprisoned for insulting females. The Amazonians cannot figure out what use are the males but Amy whispers into the ear of one of the Amazonians about sexual intercourse. The Amazonians realize what Amy is describing is “snu snu,” something they haven’t experience but only read about. Femputer, the ruler of the planet, then sentences the trio to a seemingly pleasurable death by the aforementioned snu snu.

Geek wisdom: Too much of a good thing is still too much. While it may seem all fun at the start, after a while, even the most pleasurable activities can become painful and even harmful. Recognize when to stop before you hurt yourself.

“Stop trying to tell me you can’t change what you are. You can do it, too. ‘Cause after all, unlike me, you’re not a failure.”

From: Naruto

Genre: Cartoons, Television, Anime

Who said it?: Naruto Uzumaki

The story behind the quote: This week’s quotes come from the manga/anime series Naruto. The story focuses on a young ninja named Naruto who has the spirit of the Nine-Tailed Fox sealed in him, making him an outcast. The manga/anime follows his and his friends’ adventures.

The quotes comes during the last part of the Chunin Exams. Naruto battles another ninja in training, Neji, who is supposed to be a natural and gifted student. During the climax, it appears that Neji has defeated Naruto after a long bout. However, it turns out Neji only downed one of Naruto’s Shadow Clones. Naruto uses this to his advantage and manages to perform a sneak attack, winning the bout.

Neji expresses that he should have expected this as the Shadow Clone technique is supposed to be Naruto’s specialty. Naruto then replies that he failed the exams several times because he could not execute the Shadow Clone technique properly before. However, he only became an expert at it through a lot of practice. After this reveal, he delivers the quote.

Geek wisdom: You are only a failure if you give up. You cannot better yourself if you just quit early on. Even masters have to have failed in the past. But they soldiered on and tried to improve; that’s the only reason why they became masters in their craft.

“I’m not a painted up doll – I’m a kid! And I don’t want to be anything else.”

From: Disney’s Recess

Genre: Television, Cartoons

Who said it?: Spinelli

The story behind the quote: This week’s quote comes from the Disney original series, Recess. The show focuses on a group of friends who, well, enjoy the recess period from school as it represents a time when they can be themselves. However, it is during this recess period wherein they also have to contend with the other groups of the school.

The quote comes from the episode “The Beauty Pageant.” The Ashleys, a group of stuck up girls, decide to enter Spinelli, the tomboyish girl who hates girly things, into a beauty pageant as an act of revenge for a prank. However, as she gets deeper into the contest, she and the gang and even the Ashleys start getting serious about winning. During the final question and answer portion, Spinelli is supposed to give a rehearsed spiel about what she will do if she wins. However, she relents as this really isn’t her. This is when Spinelli delivers the quote.

Geek wisdom: Sometimes, we force kids to grow up too fast and take on responsibilities. While that’s fine and good to teach them about those topics, we should also allow them to enjoy being young and carefree as well. Allow them to discover who they are and not force them into the image you think they should follow.

“Gentlemen, to evil.”

From: The Simpsons

Genre: Cartoons, Television

Who said it?: Mr. Blank

The story behind the quote: The quote comes from the long running animated sitcom, The Simpsons. Specifically, the first episode of the fourth season, Kamp Krusty. The episode has Bart and Lisa Simpson going to summer camp, which is supposedly run by Krusty the Clown himself. Unfortunately, this isn’t the case as Mr. Blank, a corrupt businessman, has just licensed the name and, to ensure that his profits are high, equips the camp with rickety amenities. This is  all while Mr. Blank and the “camp counselors” he hired, who happen to be Jimbo Jones and his gang of bullies enjoy a luxurious lifestyle.

The quote comes from the middle of the episode wherein we do see Mr. Blank, Jimbo Jones and the rest of the bullies enjoying a banquet while the camp kids have to eat gruel. Jimbo asks for another brandy and this is when Mr. Blank delivers the quote.

Geek wisdom: While we would like to see the good in people but there are always going to be people who will do corrupt and immoral things for various reasons. Maybe it’s because they want to enrich themselves off the backs of other. Maybe they want to show they’re “better” than everyone else. Or maybe they just enjoy it. Whatever the reason, we all have to recognize that there will be bad people in the world.

“Yeah. True level, bitch.”

From: Rick and Morty

Genre: Television, Cartoons

Who said it?: Rick Sanchez

The story behind the quote: This week’s quote comes from Cartoon Network’s Rick and Morty, which is aired during their late night programming schedule called Adult Swim. The show was created by Dan Harmon and Justin Roiland and follows the sci-fi misadventures of the nihilistic and cynical drunkard Rick Sanchez and his rather paranoid and nervous grandson Morty Smith (both voiced by Justin Roiland). The show has become a huge hit due to its dark humor and creativity.

The quote comes from the episode “Morty’s Mind Blowers,” the 8th episode of the 3rd season. The episode deals with both Rick and Morty (voiced by Justin Roiland) trying to recover their memories. The duo are locked in a vault that has stored most of their memories they wished to forget (or, in some instances, were forced to forget). One of the “memories” has Morty trying to put up a shelf but Rick disparages Morty because he was using an ordinary level. Rick then creates a platform that is “true level” and Morty, as he steps into it, is so enraptured by the feeling. This is when Rick delivers the quote.

Geek wisdom: Science and our current knowledge of what is fact is constantly evolving. What you currently know may not be the truth or, at the very least, not the whole truth. You might have to keep an open mind to new thoughts and ideas.

“So, professor, would you say it’s time for everyone to panic?”

From: The Simpsons

Genre: Cartoons, Television

Who said it?: Kent Brockman

The story behind the quote: This week’s quote comes from the longest running animated series in the United States, The Simpsons. And, with the current situation affecting the world thanks to the coronavirus outbreak, it’s a rather apt quote.

The quote comes from the 11th episode of the 5th season of The Simpsons. The episode is entitled Homer the Vigilante, wherein a spree of cat burglaries occur in the town of Springfield. Kent Brockman (voiced by Harry Shearer) who quickly heighten the fears the citizens of the town by insinuating that the cat burglaries will escalate into mass murders. He then turns to a professor and delivers the quote, to which the professor agrees.

Later, when the entire population is hunting down a mysterious treasure, Kent Brockman then escalates the issue again.

Geek wisdom: In times of crisis, it’s always best to try to keep a cool head. If you panic, you will be prone to do more unsafe and even dangerous actions that may do more harm than good. This goes for everyone, especially for the citizens and the people who are supposed to protect them.

“Sometimes life’s a bitch and then you keep living.”

From: BoJack Horseman

Genre: Cartoons, Television

Who said it?: Diane Nguyen

The story behind the quote: This week’s quote comes from the Netflix animated series, Bojack Horseman. The show is all about the titular character (voiced by Will Arnett), a washed up actor who is trying to make his big comeback to superstardom.

The quote comes from the very last episode of the series, Nice While It Lasted. Bojack Horseman and his ghostwriter and close friend, Diane Nguyen (voiced by Alison Brie), are on a rooftop contemplating on the fact that they may not see each other again. Bojack says that life is terrible then we die. Diane, in reply, delivers the quote.

Geek wisdom: Life can be hard and there are always going to be difficult times. Real life doesn’t always have happy stories to tell all the time. But that doesn’t mean you just have to give up in life. That’s because life will always go on.

“If you want some quality friends, you gotta wade through all the dicks first.”

From: South Park

Genre: Television

Who said it?: Eric Cartman

The story behind the quote: This week’s quote comes from the Comedy Central animated show, South Park. Created by Trey Parker and Matt Stone, the show focuses on four kids, Kenny, Kyle, Stan and Eric Cartman, who live in the town of South Park. The show mainly makes fun of the absurdity of life as well as how absurd life can be.

The quote comes from the episode “You Have 0 Friends.” Kyle’s Facebook friends are un-friending him because he friended a kid name Kip Drodry. Cartman suggests dropping him so his friends will return. When Kyle disagrees with the plan, the two go on Chatroulette to try to make new friends online. However, they keep on being matched with people showing their penises. Kyle wants to quit but Cartman says they have to keep going before delivering the quote.

Geek wisdom: In a way, what Cartman said is true. You are going to meet a lot of people in the world (or on Facebook) but not everyone is going to be nice nor will you want to be their friend. However, this is the only way to make friends. You have to get out there and meet people.

Sure, you will meet terrible people but you will also meet some wonderful people you will want to be friends with.

“You are all the things that are wrong with you. It’s not the alcohol, or the drugs, or any of the shitty things that happened to you in your career, or when you were a kid. It’s you.”

From: BoJack Horseman

Genre: Cartoons, Television

Who said it?: Todd Chavez

The story behind the quote: I would first like to give credit to Aden Batool for turning me to this quote. While I couldn’t really use the bit of GeekWisdom given, the quote itself does need to be talked about.

The quote comes from the Netflix series BoJack Horseman. The show follows the titular character, a washed up horse actor. While generally a good person, his self-destructive nature (thanks to him becoming jaded to world of show business) usually brings him at odds with the people around him.

The quote comes from the episode entitled “It’s You.” BoJack Horseman (played by Will Arnett) is nominated for an Oscar and Todd Chavez (played by Aaron Paul), who helped BoJack get the mention, returns home to BoJack’s home. BoJack berates Todd and accidentally reveals he slept with Emily, whom Todd has romantic feelings for. BoJack tries to apologize but Todd, who’s had enough, tells that he can’t keep on doing this kind of thing. He then points out that BoJack did this to himself, delivering the quote.

Geek wisdom: You can’t keep blaming other people or things for your situation, especially when you have direct control over the outcome. Your actions are still your own and blaming your past isn’t the way to go. You can acknowledge your past but that only means that you should work harder to overcome that past.

“To win, one has to lose!” AND “The difference between the novice and the master is that the master has failed more times than the novice has tried.”

From: Assassination Classroom (Ansatsu Kyoshitsu)

Genre: Cartoons, Television, Anime

Who said it?: Koro-sensei

The story behind the quote: This week’s quotes come from the manga/anime series Ansatsu Kyoshitsu AKA Assassination Classroom for Western audiences. It tells the story of a being who claims will destroy the Earth unless he is killed before the end of the year. He does give the planet a sporting chance as the being becomes a teacher for a classroom. Now named Koro-sensei, he now teaches the class of 3-E not only most regular subjects, but the art of assassination as well.

The quotes come from the 16th episode of the 1st season. Karma, one of Koro-sensei’s student fails to get better grades than his rival in class 3-A. Karma is devastated as he is actually incredibly talented in everything he does. This does not stop Koro-sensei from making fun of him because of his laziness. Tadaomi Karasuma, an agent assigned to observe Koro-sensei, asked the creature if it was wise to do that, especially since Karma was already despondent. Koro-sensei replies that it was as Karma has to experience losing as well as winning in order to get better. This is when he delivers the quotes.

Geek wisdom: Failure can always be a bitter pill to swallow. However, failure can be beneficial as you can learn from them. The only way to get better at something is to keep at it and keep bettering yourself. The only time losing is bad is when you don’t learn anything from it.