Victor de la Cruz

“Life is like a mop.”

From: UHF or The Vidiot from UHF

Genre: Movies

Who said it?: Stanley Spadowski

The story behind the quote: This film was released in the United States under the title “UHF.” However, in the international scene, it was renamed to “The Vidiot from UHF” because other countries weren’t familiar with UHF channels (since they weren’t used often).

The film stars parody musician “Weird Al” Yankovic as George Newman. George is given a UHF station that is pretty much broke but he tries to run the station as best as he can. Unfortunately, even with the new programs he created, not many people tune in to watch the channel. Despondent about his situation, he gives his hosting duties of a kid-friendly show to the station’s janitor, Stanley Spadowski (played by Michael Richards), so he and his friend can get a drink to drown their sorrows.

While at the bar, they notice all of the patrons are intensely watching Stanley’s wacky antics. Stanley eventually gives an enamored speech about his mop and how to deal with life, which is where the quote comes from.

Geek wisdom: Just like Stanley said, there’s a lot of things in life we cannot control. You are going to encounter good times and encounter bad times and a lot of it will be out of our hands. But we cannot simply give up and let the bad things control us. We have to tackle these problems head on.

No one said life was going to be easy. But just because it isn’t, it doesn’t mean we cannot overcome the problems we encounter.

“Honey badger don’t care. Honey badger don’t give a shit!”

From: The Crazy Nastyass Honey Badger

Genre: Movies

Who said it?: “Randall”

The story behind the quote: YouTube is filled with a lot of videos that went on to be extremely popular just by being funny. One of these videos is “The Crazy Nastyass Honey Badger.” The video is actually from a National Geographic special and was a normal documentary about the creature known as the honey badger. Despite it’s cute name, it is a pretty fearless and tough animal that can do a lot of things that would probably kill a lesser creature, such as survive a bite of a cobra.

The documentary was given a funny slant when “Randall” replaced the serious voiceover with his effeminate sounding descriptions of the actions of the creature. Ever since then, the video spread like wildfire and people became more aware of this desert dwelling creature.

Geek wisdom: There’s a lot a person can accomplish if he or she just goes for it. It can be difficult, of course, since we are naturally filled with self doubt and the things we want to do can be difficult to accomplish in the first place. But, if we let those thoughts stop us from even trying, then we’ve already failed.

The honey badger got it’s reputation by being tough and vicious. But it also became that was because, as the narrator said, “honey badger doesn’t give a shit.” If you want to be a success, you have to put yourself out there and do it.

“You’re gonna need a bigger boat.”

From: Jaws

Genre: Movies

Who said it?: Martin Brody

The story behind the quote: Jaws was Steven Spielberg’s first major hit. While he was already acclaimed as a good director, it was this film that garnered him mainstream success. In fact, Jaws is noted to be a pivotal film since it created the “formula” for a summer blockbuster movie.

Jaws tells the story of a great white shark terrorizing a summer resort town, attacking all swimmers that enter the water. Police Chief Martin Brody (Roy Scheider), along with marine biologist Matt Hooper (Richard Dreyfuss) and professional shark hunter, Quint (Robert Shaw) to stop the shark.

The quote comes from the scene where Brody, onboard Quint’s ship, the Orca, is adding chum into the water to attract the shark. The shark appears out of nowhere and is much larger than what they expected. Brody retreats into the quarters of the Orca, turns to Quint and delivers the quote.

Geek wisdom: It’s easy to underestimate a problem. We let ourselves be confident with our abilities to resolve issues and concerns immediately. What happens is that we don’t plan for contingencies if (and when) our plans fail. Basically, we do have the habit of underestimating problems when it’s actually better to overestimate them.

The initial plan to fix a problem may work, but what if it doesn’t? It’s always better to be overly prepared for a situation rather than having to scramble when you realize that you don’t have enough resources when you encounter the issue.

“We just finished level 3 and need to tighten up the graphics a little bit.”

From: Westwood College

Genre: Internet

Who said it?: “Game Designer #1”

The story behind the quote: Gaming became a very big thing during the 90’s and kids who played video games really dreamed about working in the gaming industry in one form or another. Because of this, a lot of schools decided to offer gaming-centric courses. One of these colleges would be Westwood College.

The quote comes from its commercials that was produced, showing that they have a course of game design. The commercial shows two people having fun playing a game, when a woman (supposedly a supervisor) tells them that she needs another game tested. This is when “Game Designer #1” turns to the woman and delivers the quote.

As a bonus, I think that the games “Game Designer #1” and “Game Designer #2” did get made. You can see their games in Action 52. You can see the Angry Video Game Nerd give his thoughts on them below.

Geek wisdom: If it looks too good to be true, it probably is. What is problematic about this commercial is that gamers can see through it as fake almost immediately. It looks like the person who wrote the commercial for Westwood College has very little knowledge on actually how much work it takes to get a game created. And it shows as no one in the gaming industry uses the term “tighten up the graphics.”

Sometimes, though, we can still fall for those tricks, such as “get rich quick” schemes. We just have to be aware of these lies and not fall for them.

“How you doin'”

From: Friends

Genre: Television

Who said it?: Joey Tribbiani

The story behind the quote: Friends was a extremely popular NBC sitcom during the 90’s. Even today, all 10 seasons of the show are still replayed in syndication throughout the world. Each episode revolves around 6 friends: the fashion conscious Rachel Green, free spirit Phoebe Buffay, the sarcastic Chandler Bing, the perfectionist Monica Gellar and her somewhat arrogant brother Ross Gellar, and the struggling actor, Joey Tribbiani.

Please take note that the rundowns for each character is a pretty barebones description for all of them. One of the things that made Friends so memorable is that each and every one in this group of friends are all different yet interact well with each other. Not only that, they all grow to some degree and some of them even get romantically involved with each other.

The quote comes from Joey Tribbiani. He has an uncanny knack of picking up beautiful women because of his confidence. All he has to do to hook up with a girl is to walk up to her and say the quote in the way he says it and they will (most of the time) fall for him.

Geek wisdom: There’s actually two pieces of wisdom you can pull from these simple three words. First, let’s talk about the words themselves. Sometimes, simply asking someone how they’re feeling can make them feel better. It’s a simple act of concern that we tend to forget to do in our daily lives.

The second piece of wisdom we can derive from Joey catchphrase is by the way he delivers it. The reason why Joey manages to use these words so effectively when meeting women is not because of the words themselves. Rather, it’s the confidence he displays when delivering them. A lot of times, when you present yourself as a person with confidence, you can gain much needed respect from others. This in turn will also increase your self-respect.

“I’m the one that’s cool!”

From: The Guild (kinda)

Genre: Web Series

Who said it?: Felicia Day

The story behind the quote: The Guild is an web series about a group of people who play an MMORPG. The initial premise of the show is that Codex (played by Felicia Day), the priestess of her guild, gets her life turned upside down when another guild member, Zaboo (portrayed by Sujan Balakrishnan Goldberg), mistakes Codex’s private chats with him as flirting and he decides to move in with Codex.

Because of this thing happening, Codex calls for her other guildmates to meet each other, in real life, for the first time to discuss her problem with Zaboo. This in turn makes the team closer to each other as they are now friends in the real world and not just in the game.

The quote comes from the music video of the same name. While it’s generally out of the continuity of the show, the video and song shows all of the other guild members how they were bullied when they were young and how they think they are “the cool people” now.

Geek wisdom: Some of you may remember a time when comics, cartoons and superheroes were “childish fantasy.” Well, what about now? The Avengers was one of the biggest movies of last year, being released to great reviews. The Walking Dead television show has become so big that I’ve seen people trying to buy the original comics to just find out what happens. Even old cartoons like the Transformers and G.I. Joe become blockbusters once they get remade into films. Even a “nerdy” fantasy book series like A Song of Fire and Ice has now become one of the most anticipated and most watched show when HBO created Game of Thrones.

Even though it took some time, maybe some people now understand how “cool” it was to fall in love with the things we were in love with. And that’s a good start.

“But, there is, unseen by most, an underworld. A place that is just as real, but not as brightly lit… a DARKSIDE!”

From: Tales from the Darkside

Genre: Television

Who said it?: The narrator

The story behind the quote: The show falls along the vein of other horror anthology programs such as Creepshow and The Twilight Zone. Each episode of Tales from the Darkside would be a self-contained story, usually delving in horror and science fiction. Most of the stories are actually adaptions of stuff that was written by popular horror authors, such as Stephen King and Clive Barker.

Since each episode usually doesn’t have any connection with any of the other episodes in the series, there is no steady cast of actors. The only real constant of the series would be the opening narration, which is where the quote comes from.

Geek wisdom: As with the quote, there is always a good and bad side to everything. Even the nicest person you know has some deep, dark, unspeakable secret he or she would like to keep hidden from everyone. I mean everyone, even you, the person that’s reading this right now. But here’s the thing: we keep this part of us hidden.

Keeping this “darkside” hidden is something we all wrestle with as this is what actually gives order to society. Imagine if we just unleashed this part of ourselves to society. It’s not a pleasant thought.

We have to restrain ourselves from a lot of our most heinous thoughts because, if we don’t, anarchy would reign.

“He chose poorly.” and “You have chosen… wisely.”

From: Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

Genre: Movies

Who said it?: An old Knight

The story behind the quote: The Indiana Jones films have always been big blockbusters and it’s not hard to see why. Each of the films takes cues from classic movies but the basic premise is the same. Indiana Jones (played by Harrison Ford) is an archaeologist and has vast knowledge with ancient history, myths and cultures. While he is incredibly smart, he is also an adventurer who is very adept in thinking on his feet during dangerous situations. Indy is also not the type of person to shy away from a fight. It is these traits that has him saving the world from evil doers (usually Nazis) who plan to dig up ancient artifacts that will help them take over the world.

The quote comes from the third film, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Here, both the Nazis and Indy are looking for the Holy Grail, which will grant immortality to those who drink from it. Indy gets captured and is forced to pass a series of traps guarding the Holy Grail. Once Indy gets through, Donovan (the main bad guy in the movie) sees that there are a lot of possible Holy Grails. Elsa (another baddie) selects one of the cups (one that has a lot of jewels and is possibly made of gold) and Donovan drinks from it… with bad results.

Indy then makes his choice and selects the one that appears to be a simple bowl. His logic is that the container is probably the one that a simple carpenter would use. He drinks from in and nothing happens to him. This is when the old Knight, who has been guarding the Grail, congratulates him.

Geek wisdom: In this day of age, we seem to rush through a lot of major decisions in life. We tend to not take stock on how important choices can affect us, both in the short term and in the long term. A lot of times, it’s this shortsightedness that can impact us the most, especially if we regret them in the future.

It’s always a good idea to weigh our options just to make an informed decision. Sometimes, all it takes is a few seconds. Other times, it make take hours or even days. It’s okay to mull over life changing decisions.

“Sonofabitch, ball! Why didn’t you go home?! That’s your home! Are you too good for your home?! Answer me!”

From: Happy Gilmore

Genre: Movies

Who said it?: Happy Gilmore

The story behind the quote: Adam Sandler rose to popularity by writing and starring in movies where the main characters are extremely unbelievable but are a blast to watch. One of these movies is Happy Gilmore. Happy Gilmore is an extremely aggressive hockey player with a very powerful slapshot. It’s this overly aggressive personality that keeps him from getting into any hockey team. It turns out that his grandmother (who raised him) hasn’t been paying her taxes and the IRS is about to repossess the house he grew up in.

While some movers are repossessing some of his household items, he makes a bet involving hitting golf balls. It is this bet when he discovers that he can use his amazing slapshot to hit golf balls farther than most pro golfers. He then joins the pro golfing circuit where his violent temper and antics make him an immediate star… even if his putting skills stink.

The quote comes from one of the tours that displays his bad putting skills. Another golfer (played by Kevin Nealon) coaches Happy that the ball really wants to get in the hole since it’s his home. All it needs is to be guided home. Happy attempts the putt and misses. This is when he loses it and starts shouting at the ball…

Geek wisdom: Even the simplest things can be difficult and it can be incredibly frustrating. Happy Gilmore may be extremely good at driving the ball in golf but he struggles at putting and he definitely shows it in the quote. It’s okay to get frustrated at doing new, especially if you’re not good at it. But you have a choice: remain frustrated at it or practice and get better at it.

Happy does eventually get good at putting, but he had to put the time and effort into getting good at it. I bet even a guy who has natural talent in golf like Tiger Woods had to practice to become the top dog. It goes with every thing that we do; we can only improve at something if we keep on doing it over and over again.

“Some men just want to watch the world burn.”

From: Batman, specifically, The Dark Knight

Genre: Movies

Who said it?: Alfred Pennyworth

The story behind the quote: It seems that I can’t stop getting quotes from Batman media. But this time, it’s from Bruce Wayne’s faithful butler, Alfred.

The quote comes from The Dark Knight, the 2nd film of Christopher Nolan’s trilogy of Batman movies. Bruce Wayne has been investigating a series of violent (and videotaped) actions of the Joker. Bruce has been reviewing the Joker’s actions and is having difficulty understanding why he does the things he does.

Alfred then tells the story about the time he was in Burma. His group was hired to bribe tribal leaders to get their loyalty for the government using valuable stones and gems. During this time, a “bandit” was wrecking havoc in the area and it was assumed that the “bandit” took the stones. One day, Alfred notice a child playing with one of the stones and realized that the bandit took the stones but threw them away. This is when he knew that the bandit didn’t care for money, he just wanted to wreck as much havoc as he can.

Geek wisdom: Like Alfred said, there are going to be people that you cannot reason with, no matter what you do. They will just do whatever they want, forgetting the consequences of their actions. We have to accept the fact that we will not be able to convince them with logic.

At the same time, we cannot let these kind of people run around doing anything they please, especially if it will lead to anarchy. The act of doing nothing about something is going to be the wrong thing to do in these cases. Sometimes, it will be necessary to step in and do something… especially if we believe it’s the right thing to do.